Neptune made me do it.
Right now I feel at war with Neptune. How could he do this to me? A poor sensitive Splenic Projector with 6 open centers including the Solar Plexus and Throat.
Someone who was taught to trust in his spontaneous nature and deeply calibrated intuition. “This is your truth,” Human Design said.
I imagine Neptune putting me on his back while he climbs the ladder to the high-dive, tiptoeing to the edge of the platform, readying us to plunge to the depths of emotional crisis in Gate 36.
He must be thinking, what a pathetic Pisces, he's been avoiding emotion his whole life, I guess we go ahead with the plan. And on March 7th 2022 he screams, happy birthday! And we jump.
When Neptune moved into Gate 36, the Gate of Crisis, it electromagnetically hooked up to the hanging Gate 35 in my open throat center activating my Throat (manifestation) and Solar Plexus (emotion) through the Channel of Transitoriness. It's actually the only gate I have in the throat and it's my Design Earth. The Gate of Change. Another joke that what grounds my body is change… I guess there's resonance with my 3rd line design?
This channel desperately wants to manifest a new emotional experience with another in order to feel. And this is how it learns. Other keynotes are adventure, doing anything once, jack of all trades, and the kama sutra just to name a few. The root and fuel for this channel is desire.
Before the transit, I asked my mentor, what is this going to mean for me? Can I still trust my intuition or do I need to wait for these incoming emotions to be clear?
He paused for a moment and then said, whatever happens keep your sense of humor.
It was confusing and not helpful at the moment but I now see it was the best and only advice possible to give or receive.
The open centers in our BodyGraph carry the themes we are here to learn about and we are designed to be extremely sensitive to the frequency of those centers. We meet the frequency through conditioning from other people and the planets. These open centers are not equipped to consistently process that specific energy and our bodies pay a price when we try.
So wtf? Why pump me full of emotional drama for 3 years? I'm tired.
Well, it turns out I had a LOT to learn.
In this 3 year span I've been to 14 countries. I've connected with the land of my ancestors and discovered my deep shamanic connection to the magical properties of water. I've surfed the arctic circle, learned to freedive, and trained in aquatic energy/bodywork called Aguahara.
I had no comfort zone. I danced. I started the process to unlock my body.
I had my heart broken open figuratively and almost literally.
I touched love and intimacy I could never have imagined.
I met my people and formed a tribe of beautiful humans all over the world.
The highs were ecstatic, divine, nirvana.
And the lows.
I met the depths of pain, heartbreak, illusion and loneliness. I cried so many tears. And at times with the depth and quality of love present, it felt as if Neptune was crying them through me, for me. There are a few cherished moments I know I'll never forget. And it was the pain that made them special.
I had 3 years of intense 3rd line style, emotional body deconditioning to do. And it's not over yet.
Neptune leaves gate 36 on the 10th of February and much to my minds amusement the south node of the moon will take its place a few days before extending the transit until June 13th 2025 making the total transit time over 3 years and 3 months.
At this point it's beginning to feel like abuse and in true 3rd line martyrdom I want to scream enough! I've learned my emo lessons, why must we extend the transit? Did Neptune make a deal with the Moon just to make sure I emerge wielding the full expression of my Piscean power? If I survive I'm going to tattoo a trident as a sign of victory over another intense initiation. After all I am a 51-25 the spiritual warrior or the fool, I'm built for it.
So this may be premature but in this moment, still emotional, what have I learned?
1. I don't know what patience is.
Emotions are about pleasure and pain, and when our mind interprets these frequencies it wants to use them to make spontaneous decisions. It's simple, the mind wants to make decisions to get more pleasure and less pain. Without patience it's actually the spontaneous choice for more pleasure that leads to deep pain. And the spontaneous decision to avoid a potentially painful scenario can lead to missing out on deep intimacy and cultivation of long term pleasure.
Yes we can flip them if we're dealing with trauma and patterns of self sabotage the chemical dump we get is the same. So the decision can be seen as we want more emotional chemistry.
2. The emotional process is not respected.
The amount of time, patience and acceptance of feeling required for an emotional being to live correctly is beyond anything that I've known or seen play out in the real world. I'd like to be someone who helps change that.
Stop being so emotional. You're too emotional. You're not thinking clearly. You're being ridiculous. Why are you emotional, what's wrong? How can we fix your emotions? I don't like being around you when you're feeling like this… This isn't real…
Human Design boils down to respect. It's really about how to have acceptance of everyone's unique individual inner truth even when we don't like it or don't operate the same way.
In a society that only wants us focused on being productive, emotions really get in the way, just like women's menstrual cycle so we are taught to deny them, to not feel them fully, to lie to ourselves that we don't need space, time, rest and reflection.
We are robbed of the wisdom, truth and magic that's hidden deep within the frequency of the Solar Plexus. This precise awareness is the future. It is the center that will bring a new consciousness to the planet in 2027.
We all have more to learn about this incredibly complex frequency.
3. Shit's deep.
Being an emotional and non-emotional based on your Human Design chart is about as different as being a man and a woman. In the process of my shifting emotions I've been able to see the same situation in so many different ways. Which one's true? How can I possibly feel so differently about the same thing? The facts haven't changed, just the way I feel about the facts.
For the emotional being the tagline is, “There's no truth in the now.” After 3 years of this transit experience I don't like the wording of that statement. Emotions are happening in the now and they are very real, it is just an emotional truth that's mainly chemical. If the mind interprets the emotion and gives it a reason, there's no truth in the now. But that goes for everyone's Not-Self not just the emotional being.
Now I like to think there are just different truths in the now. And to get to the depth required to make a decision that will empower you, this thing called patience is most definitely required. And in questions of intimacy and partnership patience seems to be the most critical.
4. The only way is through.
Regardless of this center being defined or undefined, human beings were designed to feel. It's really what makes this whole trip worth anything. In the Solar Plexus we talk about partnership themes, sex drive, intimacy, drama. We talk about need, romance and desire. Religion, love and adventure. To be human you must meet and travel through this frequency. The fates decide the level of crisis we'll encounter in this life and it's never what we thought. If we can master, or maybe just learn about what this center holds, we can save ourselves from taking any of it personally.
So there's more to come, more reflection, more time for lessons learned to be revealed and for now I'll have patience, I'll let the feelings come and go and through release and acceptance, through no longer avoiding truth and confrontation, I won't have to meet the same cycle again. I can be a good pisces man and forever sensitively move towards the only constant that exists in life with grace, composure and a little drama when necessary. I'll move towards change, progress, something new.
Happy you're here with me.